“We are satisfied by our decent little life. We are pleased with our good habits; we take them for virtues. We are pleased with our little efforts; we take them for progress. We are proud of our activities; they make us think we are giving ourselves. We are impressed by our influence; we imagine it will transform lives. We are proud of what we give, though it hides what we withhold. We may even be mistaking a set of coinciding egoisms for real friendships.” Michel Quoist

At some time in one’s life they might possibly hear the words, “not quite living up to your potential.” Of course this is one of the most patronizing phrases, wherever it comes from, whatever the intent is. I would like to take this communication away from the realm of “tisk, tisk” and put it into the atmosphere of personal perspective of reality. Instead of a question of possibility, I would see it in the reality of now. Have our goals become to small and self-centered? Has today been reduced to a preparation of tomorrow, or actions with intent of long term results been pushed aside to get to the short-sighted goal of what I want right now? Where do you draw the lines of areas of need in your life? Your community? Your responsibility? Do you bleed in public statements for the children of Darfur, yet walk past the homeless person who asks you for any help you can give to them in their hunger, poverty, or pain, presupposing what choices they will make or “what they will do with it?” We have lost an element of genuine help to others for their benefit more than ours. We have lost the idea of genuine love in our daily pursuits. Love for people: The foundational reason God sent his Son to earth. Love of people. In psychological terms, we are sliding down the scale of empathy and apathy. We are losing the real impacting edge of love for others to self-empathy relegating that which deters to apathy.

This is the construct between empathy and apathy: In every situation, in every decision, with every person, with any range of contentment in circumstances and consequence responding action, one finds a range of in the scale of more empathetic or more apathetic. Here are a few examples:

Brittany Spears has a new series of paparazzi photos on the internet – extreme apathy
My spouse dies – extreme empathy
The newspaper prints a biased article about a politician – apathy
My child skins their knee – empathy

Unfortunately these are more black and white possibilities. I do not want to discount that within some people’s world these are not in the places I have put them. The reality is that most things on the continuum of this construct end up a little more subjectively blurry. The model is based on one’s invested personal interaction with an experience or idea. The scale of importance of how things warrant one’s time, attention and action; this is the place where our little choices become not so little to the people which they affect.

In the culture of today we are very conscious, very tolerant, very aware, but not very prepared to get our hands dirty in making a difference. The ideas of societal impact and social good have never been so widespread, nor quite so bankrupt of depth. We speak, we rally, we fundraise, yet we cringe at touching others who are in need with our own hands. These are the little actions for benefit we find so self-soothing, yet their actual impact is minimally effective. Within the confines of the continuum, the more personal our interaction with the needs around us, the more effective we can be in assisting those who are in need.

Let us persevere not just to blow smoke of loving others and making a difference in the lives of those around us in a tactile, real manner. Let us widen our range of empathy. Let us not be so pleased with ourselves for what minute change which has resulted from our efforts. Let us make bigger goals of being others-centered. Let us not be mistaken in putting genuine care for our human brothers and sisters. The outcome might just change the world.